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 Cucumbers Are Firends : Author Unknown

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Registration date : 2007-07-30

PostSubject: Cucumbers Are Firends : Author Unknown   Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:25 am

Thanks To Shakes for this, it's so funny.
Code:
<config>

<command type="random">
<in>!cuke</in>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# The average cucumber is at least 6 inches long. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers stay hard for a week. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't get too excited. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers are easy to pick up. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket.... and you know how firm it is before you take it home. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers can get away any weekend. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber you can get a single room.... and you won't have to check-in as Mrs. Cucumber. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You can go to a movie with a cucumber.... and see the movie. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You can go to a drive-in with a cucumber.... and you can stay in the front seat. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber you can always wait until you get home. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.... or send you out for Milk Duds. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't ask: "Am I the first?". </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't care if you're a virgin. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber you don't have to be a virgin more than once. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers can handle rejection. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't pout if you have a headache. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't care what time of the month it is. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never want to get it on when your nails are wet. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't give it up for Lent. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber you never have to say you're sorry. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't want to shake hands and be friends. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't say, "I'll call you a cab". </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't tell you he's not the marrying kind. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't tell you he is the marrying kind. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't call his ex-wife or therapist. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Afterwards, a cucumber won't take you to confession. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't make you go to the drugstore. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.</out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber a day keeps the OB-GYN away. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't work your crossword with ink. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the Flu season. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't go through your medicine chest. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't have sex hangups. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers aren't into rope & leather, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits & nuts. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You can eat cucumbers when you feel like it. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never need a round of applause. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't ask: "Am I the best? How was it? Did you come? How  many times?"</out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers aren't jealous of your Gynecologist, Ski Instructor, or Hair Dresser. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't want to join your sports group. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber never wants to improve your mind. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers aren't into meaningful conversations. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't ask about your Last Lover.... or speculate about your next one. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother is over. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh cucumber. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest, or drool on the pillow. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't give you a hickey. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers can stay up ALL night.... and you won't have to sleep on the wet spot. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't leave dirty shorts on the floor. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't compare you to a center fold. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't count to 10. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't tell you they liked you better with long hair. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber will never leave you for another woman, for another man or another cucumber. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber will never call and say "I have to work late, Honey", and then come home smelling like another woman. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber never snaps your bra, pinches your butt, or gives you a snuggy. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You always know where a cucumber has been. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber never has to call "the wife". </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never have mid-life crises. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't leave you for a cheerleader or an ex-nun. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find themselves. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# You won't find out later that your cucumber is married, is on penicillin, likes you - but loves your brother. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't have softball practice on the day you move. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never tell you what they did on R&R. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't ask for a promotion just when you're up for a promotion.</out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't care if you make more money than they do. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers won't wear a leisure suit to your office Christmas party. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't leave town on New Year's Eve. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't take you to disco and dump you for a flashy outfit. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber doesn't care if you always spent the holidays with your family.</out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't ask to be put through Med School. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy". </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber won't insist the little cukes be raised Catholic, Jewish, or Orthodox Vegetarian. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# It's easy to drop a cucumber. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything. </out>
<out>#c?# Cucumbers are good for you #c?# No matter how you slice it, you can have your cuke and eat it too. </out>
</command>

</config>



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