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 Beer Is Good : Author Unknown

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PostSubject: Beer Is Good : Author Unknown   Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:18 am

thanks To Shakes for this funny one
Code:
<config>

<command type="random">
<in>beer</in>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You can enjoy a beer all month.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer stains wash out.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You don't have to wine and dine a beer.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# When beer goes flat you toss it out.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is never late.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer labels come off without a fight. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never has a headache. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer ALWAYS goes down easy. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You can share a beer with your friends.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is always wet.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't demand equality. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't care when you come.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You can have a beer in public.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A frigid beer is a good beer. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer always comes in multiples of six.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# When your beer is gone, you just pop another.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer looks the same in the morning.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If it goes flat just toss it out. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't look you up in a month.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't get cramps.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have a mother.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have morals.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer always listens and never argues. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer labels don't go out of style every year.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't demand legality. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is never overweight.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer won't run off with your credit cards.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't have a lawyer.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't need much closet space.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never changes its mind.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never asks you to change the station.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't make you go shopping.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is always easy to pick up.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't pout or play games.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer NEVER says no.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer is easy to get into.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer never complains when you take it somewhere. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't wear a bra.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't live with its mother.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't blow you off. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer doesn't mind football season.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you go to church.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute". </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't care. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't smoke in your car.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will actually support belching and farting.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer is always ready to leave on time.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer never fishes for compliments.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer tastes *good*.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" again. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles"</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse:  "But I saved a penny!" </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer will never make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons. </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson". </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill.</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If you offer Demon a Beer he will be a happy camper.  </out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# If Demon has Beer he may be convinced to DJ all night long :)</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer makes you kiss street lamps and tell them you love them</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer really does make you look like the best dancer on the planet</out>
<out>Beer is good, #c?# Beer really does make you the sexiest person on the planet</out>
</command>

</config>



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