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 The Automated Phone Menu

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Steve™
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PostSubject: The Automated Phone Menu   Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:17 am

Hello, and thank you for calling, please listen to the following options:-

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly

If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.

If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, press 5 but do it v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and carefully.

If you are dyslexic, press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8.

If you have schizophrenia, listen very carefully and a small voice will tell you the number to press.

If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press a number for you.

If you are depressed, don't bother to press any numbers. No one will be able to help you anyway.

If you are paranoid, you don't need to press anything. We know who you are, we know what you want, and we know how to reach you.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, please hang up because all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

**my note, if this offends anyone in any way, i sincerely apologise, and will delete it on request**



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MrDarn™
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PostSubject: Re: The Automated Phone Menu   Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:05 am

lol, i like it!

have you heard the one on youtube about the guy who's sick of telemarketers?

he pretends the house is a crime scene and demands to know the callers name, location and how he knew the victim lol
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Steve™
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PostSubject: Re: The Automated Phone Menu   Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:25 am

no i didnt see that, i know they play some funny pranks on radio too.



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MrDarn™
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PostSubject: Re: The Automated Phone Menu   Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:33 pm

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Steve™
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PostSubject: Re: The Automated Phone Menu   Tue Oct 07, 2008 2:11 am

thats brilliant, i was laughing all the way through,
that guy is so funny...



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PostSubject: Re: The Automated Phone Menu   Wed Oct 08, 2008 11:36 am

i gotta admit, clicking thru some of the related stuff is really funny too :-D
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