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 Quotes : By Panther

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Registration date : 2007-07-30

PostSubject: Quotes : By Panther   Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:33 pm

Code:
<config>

<command type="script">
<in>!quotes</in>
<out>Thank You %NAME% for choosing BigBrother to inspire you with a quote...</out>
<out>Type !quote to get your insightful quote.</out>
</command>

<command type="random">
<in>!quote</in>
<out>How do I set my laser printer on stun??? </out>
<out>When climbing the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your skirt! </out>
<out>My job is secure. No one else wants it. </out>
<out>My computer doesn't understand me. </out>
<out>Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking. </out>
<out>Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again. </out>
<out>Don't judge a book by its movie. </out>
<out>With a calendar, your days are numbered. </out>
<out>Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses. </out>
<out>People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses. </out>
<out>Bad spellers of the world untie. </out>
<out>Friction is a drag. </out>
<out>Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it </out>
<out>If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? </out>
<out>I'm in shape. Round's a shape, isn't it? </out>
<out>It is bad luck to be superstitious </out>
<out>If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? </out>
<out>I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions </out>
<out>If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? </out>
<out>Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. </out>
<out>I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older Then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals. </out>
<out>Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso. </out>
<out>VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. </out>
<out>You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. </out>
<out>Clones are people two. </out>
<out>If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. </out>
<out>Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? </out>
<out>Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. </out>
<out>How is it possible to have a civil war?  </out>
<out>Atheism is a nonprophet organization. </out>
<out>Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?  </out>
<out>Why are they called "hemorrhoids". They should be called "asteroids"? </out>
<out>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? </out>
<out>Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm </out>
<out>Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines </out>
<out>Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese </out>
<out>I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week </out>
<out>I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol </out>
<out>I intend to live forever - so far, so good </out>
<out>If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? </out>
<out>If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! </out>
<out>Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! </out>
<out>Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of </out>
<out>Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have </out>
<out>This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. </out>
<out>I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.  </out>
<out>Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. </out>
<out>If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.  </out>
<out>Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. </out>
<out>Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. </out>
<out>See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. </out>
<out>Not all men are annoying. Some are dead </out>
<out>A woman's favorite position is CEO. </out>
<out>Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. </out>
<out>I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks </out>
<out>Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. </out>
<out>Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done </out>
<out>I plead contemporary insanity. </out>
<out>If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. </out>
<out>Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. </out>
<out>Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. </out>
<out>If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. </out>
<out>My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. </out>
<out>Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. </out>
<out>It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. </out>
<out>For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. </out>
<out>If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. </out>
<out>Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. </out>
<out>A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. </out>
<out>Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. </out>
<out>Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. </out>
<out>No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. </out>
<out>A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. </out>
<out>Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. </out>
<out>Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. </out>
<out>Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. </out>
<out>There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. </out>
<out>Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. </out>
<out>By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. </out>
<out>Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. </out>
<out>Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. </out>
<out>Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. </out>
<out>Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion </out>
<out>The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes </out>
<out>When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane </out>
<out>Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. </out>
<out>If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something </out>
<out>Many people quit looking for work when they find a job </out>
<out>When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. </out>
<out>Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. </out>
<out>Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark </out>
</command>

</config>



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